Back in 2000, we'd been meeting with Aaron regularly for about 3 or 4 months, and Anna was spectacularly happy about it. He too was obviously enamored. He called her daily, sent gifts, and went way out of his was to make extra time to be with her. One weekend he came to our house on a Friday night. We had a nice time, and had fun all day and night Saturday. Before he left on Sunday, he said he needed to talk to us.
For the first time ever, his air of confidence was not evident. He looked positively sheepish. I remember the conversation very well.
"I have something to tell you both. I'm embarrassed to say it. I'm married. I know you were looking for a single guy. And I thought when we met it was just going to be a one shot deal. I didn't count on liking you so much. You are both really nice people. I didn't want to tell you because I was afraid that would be the end of it. And if you don't want to see me anymore, I will understand. It will really hurt, but I will understand."
Annie and I looked at each other, kind of a head scratching moment. Finally, Annie spoke up.
"What does your wife think you're doing when you're gone every weekend?"
"She knows what I'm doing. I don't keep anything from her," he responded.
I remember thinking, "bullshit."
"Why don't you involve her in this?" Annie asked.
Aaron proceeded to tell us this outlandish story that his wife had suffered from depression, grown morbidly obese, refused to do anything about it, and had developed severe diabetes. They hadn't had sex in years, he said, and as a result, he started looking outside his marriage for sex. His wife, he said, was aware of this. He concentrated on married people because of he perceived less risk from STDs. He had told his wife about us - about Annie, and - according to him - she was ok with the whole arrangement.
Both Annie and I smelled bullshit, but at least he was coming clean about being married. I figured the whole affair was over with right then and there. Annie would never go for this. As if to challenge his veracity, Annie said:
"So your wife knows you are here with us right now?"
"Yes."
"She's not jealous? She knows you spend 2 sometimes 3 nights in a row with me, and she says, 'good for you, Aaron, have fun'?"
"She actually packed me snacks for the ride over here on Friday," he responded.
"So when you get home, do you tell her what we do? Does she ask for all the details?" Annie asked.
"No, she doesn't ask, and I don't tell. I did tell her that I was falling in love with you."
"Oh, Christ!" Annie said. "That is evil! I can't believe you said that to her."
"She is fine with that," he responded. "We are very honest with each other. I take care of her. She needs someone to take care of her because of her conditions. She takes care of me, in her own way, to the best of her ability. She knows about my sex drive, she knows better than anyone else. She doesn't want sex anymore, and frankly, I couldn't give it to her if she wanted. It hurts to look at her. It is very sad, what she's become. I tried and tried, but I could not change her. She understands this - all of it."
He sounded so sincere, but I didn't buy it. Niether did my wife. Annie challenged him:
"Well, you know I won't do this with a married man. But if what you say is true, let me meet your wife. If she tells me face to face that she wants me to be your girlfriend - that she really does condone this, that I am not ruining your marriage, then we can continue. Otherwise, I just can't do this anymore."
Basically, Annie was calling his bluff. After he left, she said, "Oh well. Easy come, easy go. He was the best one yet."
I honestly thought we'd never see him again. So did she.
But sometime during the next week, Aaron asked Annie to come to his home and meet his wife. She did just that the following weekend. It turns out, everything he said was true. They spoke with each other with and without Aaron's presence. By the time Annie left, she was convinced that everything he had told us was true, and she understood that his wife really did want him to have a sexual relationship with one (1) woman, since sex was simply not going to happen between her and her husband. They'd been together since they were teens, had several children together, and now she'd grown sick, huge and sick, unable to have and ininterested in having sex of any kind. She actually thanked Annie for taking care of Aaron. Annie found herself really liking this woman, and feeling truly sorry for her.
And so, our relationship with Aaron continued, until it ended 4 years ago.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
The reason for this flashback is what Annie told me after we came home from dinner last Saturday night. Aaron showed up last month to tell Annie that his wife had passed away. She died 2 months ago due to complications from diabetes.
It was certainly a mind blower to hear this. She also told me that Aaron would be visiting us this coming weekend, and that she wants the three of us to "talk." She said she has come to a big conclusion and she would talk about it then. She wouldn't say anything else to me. She's been tight lipped ever since. She has been speaking with him on the phone evey day for the past 5 days - just like old times. I am assuming she's been talking to him privately at least since he visited her last month.
I have a very queasy feeling. I will know more this weekend.
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