Curious Wife

[lexxi]

Hello everyone. I'm new here, and VERY interested in this lifestyle. I would like some advise. It seems one of the common questions here is, how do I get my wife interested? My question would be, how do I get my husband interested?

I have secretly been looking at interracial porn on the net. This seemed harmless enough, just a fantasy thing. Now, at work a black guy has been hitting on me. I want him SOOO bad, but don't want to ruin my marriage, as I love my husband very much. The logical thing would be to try to tell him or show him about this lifestyle. Problem is, I have no idea how to do it.

If anyone has any ideas or advise, please let me know. Thanks.

Lexxi

[SoonToBe]

Lexxi - you need to give us a little more info about your husband. Does he enjoy porn? Does he read Penthouse Letters? Do you guys use "toys" in the bedroom. Any of these offer an opportunity during the heat of passion to start exploring this with him.

If you bring the subject up casually during sex/foreplay - you can gauge his reaction. If he has not indicated any tendencies in this direction then you'll need to move carefully to gain his support.

How long have you been married? Any kids? The reason I ask is that i don't think this is something for newlyweds to jump into. The more stable and secure your home life is - and kids add to that - the better this will be more well received.

Have any of your friends relationships been "ruined" by her infidelity? That can be an interesting way to approach it. You could say things like "can you believe they broke up because of that?". And you may need to prepare yourself to honestly be able to say "I wouldn't leave you for a fling like that, what do you think?". This way you plant the seed that him straying wouldn't cause you to leave him and it may then give him the ability to say how he'd feel if it were you.

Toys and porn offer similar opportunities. If you have a dildo - give it a name and use it in your bedroom play - see how he reacts to imagining you with another guy - make sure he knows it's just fantasy at first. If he responds at all favorably then you can try to move forward.

Good luck - I think this is a harder thing for a wife to as her husband permission to do than it is for a husband to suggest to a wife.

Keep us posted how you progress....

[SoonToBe]

Lexxi - you need to give us a little more info about your husband. Does he enjoy porn? Does he read Penthouse Letters? Do you guys use "toys" in the bedroom. Any of these offer an opportunity during the heat of passion to start exploring this with him.

If you bring the subject up casually during sex/foreplay - you can gauge his reaction. If he has not indicated any tendencies in this direction then you'll need to move carefully to gain his support.

How long have you been married? Any kids? The reason I ask is that i don't think this is something for newlyweds to jump into. The more stable and secure your home life is - and kids add to that - the better this will be more well received.

Have any of your friends relationships been "ruined" by her infidelity? That can be an interesting way to approach it. You could say things like "can you believe they broke up because of that?". And you may need to prepare yourself to honestly be able to say "I wouldn't leave you for a fling like that, what do you think?". This way you plant the seed that him straying wouldn't cause you to leave him and it may then give him the ability to say how he'd feel if it were you.

Toys and porn offer similar opportunities. If you have a dildo - give it a name and use it in your bedroom play - see how he reacts to imagining you with another guy - make sure he knows it's just fantasy at first. If he responds at all favorably then you can try to move forward.

Good luck - I think this is a harder thing for a wife to as her husband permission to do than it is for a husband to suggest to a wife.

Keep us posted how you progress....

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Ms. Lexxi,

Thank you for your post, and welcome! It's always good when women like yourself participate in this forum.

Originally Posted by lexxi

Hello everyone. I'm new here, and VERY interested in this lifestyle.

Good! Wanting to make your husband your cuckold is the first and most important step toward doing it.

Originally Posted by lexxi

I would like some advise. It seems one of the common questions here is, how do I get my wife interested? My question would be, how do I get my husband interested?

You're right; usually it's the husband who is trying to determine how to interest his wife in fucking other men. So, your question is a good one.

Originally Posted by lexxi

I have secretly been looking at interracial porn on the net. This seemed harmless enough, just a fantasy thing.

Well, if you're spending time viewing and reading interracial porn on the net, that suggests it's important to you and you want it. Since your time is valuable, if you did not consider IR sex erotic and desirable... well... you'd be spending your time in other ways. There's nothing wrong with your secret desire; as you say, your problem is to make it happen in ways that do not destroy your marriage and, if possible, strengthen your relationship with your husband.

Originally Posted by lexxi

Now, at work a black guy has been hitting on me. I want him SOOO bad...

Excellent! Having a potential lover with whom to cuckold your husband... whom you should now think of as your cuckold-in-waiting... will make it much easier than having to having to start from scratch. The saying "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" applies. Your black coworker, whom you should view as your lover-in-waiting (you are already, it sounds like), senses the chemistry between you. That, of course, is the reason he's hitting on you.

Originally Posted by lexxi

...but I don't want to ruin my marriage, as I love my husband very much.

No, no... of course you don't want to ruin your marriage. Taking lovers in no way implies you don't love your husband.

Originally Posted by lexxi

The logical thing would be to try to tell him or show him about this lifestyle. Problem is, I have no idea how to do it.

Your goal, I suggest, should be to bring your husband to full acceptance of it being your privilege and prerogative, as his wife, to date other men and have sex with whomever you please, while his role is to remain faithful as your cuckold.

Attaining this goal will be most feasible if you first become the dominant partner in your marriage, acknowledged as such and, ideally, as head of your household by your cuckold-in-waiting. A fairly detailed "program" for moving your husband forward to this point is given by Lady Misato, here:

Lady Misato on Husbands v. Housework:
Real Women Don't Do Housework

Note Lady Misato's "program" does not include actually making your husband your cuckold, but it can clearly facilitate that.

A somewhat harsher "program" for making your husband your cuckold can be found here:

How to Cuckold your Husband, Ch. 01:
How to Cuckold Your Husband - How To - Literotica.com

How to Cuckold Your Husband, Ch. 02:
How to Cuckold Your Husband Ch. 02 - How To - Literotica.com

Which of these approaches you take, should you choose to proceed along these lines, should depend on your judgement of your husband's proclivities and your own desires and capabilities. You might find, for instance, that some combination of these approaches would be most effective.

At some point along the way, when you feel your cuckold-in-waiting is ready, you might point out this article and ask him for his thoughts on it.

Susan Gower on natural cuckolding of husbands by married women:
The Science of Cuckoldry Cuckold Couple

If he seems to respond well (not with angry rejection), you might also point out this article and ask your cuckold-in-waiting for his thoughts on it.

Dr. Cherry Lee on the cuckold husband / hotwife phenomenon:
The Cuckold Husband / Hotwife Phenomena : Scandalouswomen

An additional article that may be of interest to you (and your husband when you feel he's ready) can be found here:

Husband cuckolding as a marital lifestyle:
Cuckolding

I encourage you to write back with comments on how your husband is progressing. If you find you're having difficulties, you will probably be able to get some good advice from the members of this forum.

Good luck!

—Custer

[lexxi]

Originally Posted by SoonToBe

Lexxi - you need to give us a little more info about your husband. Does he enjoy porn? Does he read Penthouse Letters? Do you guys use "toys" in the bedroom. Any of these offer an opportunity during the heat of passion to start exploring this with him.

If you bring the subject up casually during sex/foreplay - you can gauge his reaction. If he has not indicated any tendencies in this direction then you'll need to move carefully to gain his support.

How long have you been married? Any kids? The reason I ask is that i don't think this is something for newlyweds to jump into. The more stable and secure your home life is - and kids add to that - the better this will be more well received.

Have any of your friends relationships been "ruined" by her infidelity? That can be an interesting way to approach it. You could say things like "can you believe they broke up because of that?". And you may need to prepare yourself to honestly be able to say "I wouldn't leave you for a fling like that, what do you think?". This way you plant the seed that him straying wouldn't cause you to leave him and it may then give him the ability to say how he'd feel if it were you.

Toys and porn offer similar opportunities. If you have a dildo - give it a name and use it in your bedroom play - see how he reacts to imagining you with another guy - make sure he knows it's just fantasy at first. If he responds at all favorably then you can try to move forward.

Good luck - I think this is a harder thing for a wife to as her husband permission to do than it is for a husband to suggest to a wife.

Keep us posted how you progress....

My hubby and I were both virgins when we started dating. We live a pretty much vanilla sex life. Does he enjoy porn?...I'm not 100% that he even looks at it, but I would say he probably does. It's not something we ever talk about. Toys?...no, we don't use them.

I'm sure he would be totally shocked to know his "sweet virgin" looked at internet porn and dreamed of huge black cocks. So, you're right, I'd have to move VERY carefully.

We are late 20's haven't started a family yet. I feel though that our marriage is very strong. It's just that I think I've had my eyes opened. What I once thought of as good, exciting sex now seems that it may be a tad boring.

BTW, thanks for your response.

[lexxi]

Originally Posted by Custer Laststand

Hi Ms. Lexxi,

Thank you for your post, and welcome! It's always good when women like yourself participate in this forum.



Good! Wanting to make your husband your cuckold is the first and most important step toward doing it.



You're right; usually it's the husband who is trying to determine how to interest his wife in fucking other men. So, your question is a good one.



Well, if you're spending time viewing and reading interracial porn on the net, that suggests it's important to you and you want it. Since your time is valuable, if you did not consider IR sex erotic and desirable... well... you'd be spending your time in other ways. There's nothing wrong with your secret desire; as you say, your problem is to make it happen in ways that do not destroy your marriage and, if possible, strengthen your relationship with your husband.



Excellent! Having a potential lover with whom to cuckold your husband... whom you should now think of as your cuckold-in-waiting... will make it much easier than having to having to start from scratch. The saying "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" applies. Your black coworker, whom you should view as your lover-in-waiting (you are already, it sounds like), senses the chemistry between you. That, of course, is the reason he's hitting on you.



No, no... of course you don't want to ruin your marriage. Taking lovers in no way implies you don't love your husband.



Your goal, I suggest, should be to bring your husband to full acceptance of it being your privilege and prerogative, as his wife, to date other men and have sex with whomever you please, while his role is to remain faithful as your cuckold.

Attaining this goal will be most feasible if you first become the dominant partner in your marriage, acknowledged as such and, ideally, as head of your household by your cuckold-in-waiting. A fairly detailed "program" for moving your husband forward to this point is given by Lady Misato, here:

Lady Misato on Husbands v. Housework:
Real Women Don't Do Housework

Note Lady Misato's "program" does not include actually making your husband your cuckold, but it can clearly facilitate that.

A somewhat harsher "program" for making your husband your cuckold can be found here:

How to Cuckold your Husband, Ch. 01:
How to Cuckold Your Husband - How To - Literotica.com

How to Cuckold Your Husband, Ch. 02:
How to Cuckold Your Husband Ch. 02 - How To - Literotica.com

Which of these approaches you take, should you choose to proceed along these lines, should depend on your judgement of your husband's proclivities and your own desires and capabilities. You might find, for instance, that some combination of these approaches would be most effective.

At some point along the way, when you feel your cuckold-in-waiting is ready, you might point out this article and ask him for his thoughts on it.

Susan Gower on natural cuckolding of husbands by married women:
The Science of Cuckoldry Cuckold Couple

If he seems to respond well (not with angry rejection), you might also point out this article and ask your cuckold-in-waiting for his thoughts on it.

Dr. Cherry Lee on the cuckold husband / hotwife phenomenon:
The Cuckold Husband / Hotwife Phenomena : Scandalouswomen

An additional article that may be of interest to you (and your husband when you feel he's ready) can be found here:

Husband cuckolding as a marital lifestyle:
Cuckolding

I encourage you to write back with comments on how your husband is progressing. If you find you're having difficulties, you will probably be able to get some good advice from the members of this forum.

Good luck!

—Custer

Wow. What a fascinating response. Lots of good pointers. I must say though, bringing up the subject at all, and HOW to bring it up are still what I have no idea yet how to do. I'm working on it though. I hope to hear more ideas, although I must tailor them to my hubby. I honestlly don't think his first reaction would be very favorable.

[rural]

Spend more time communicating with him, it could be his fantasy, you will never know.

He may not even look at pornography, if you are present, could be he is embarrassed or somewhat afraid of your reaction.

In my opinion, if a man can sleep with another woman (other than his wife) and still keep his marriage intact, a woman can do the same, right. This is what I even told my own wife.

[Custer Laststand]

Hi Ms. Lexxi,

Originally Posted by lexxi

Wow. What a fascinating response. Lots of good pointers.

Thank you.

Originally Posted by lexxi

I must say though, bringing up the subject at all, and HOW to bring it up are still what I have no idea yet how to do.

It sounds like you may have missed an important point. That is, it will be best (most likely) if you *don't* bring up with your husband wanting to transform your marriage to a "cuckold husband / hotwife" relationship. At least, not in any direct way. Rather, focus on gradually becoming the dominant partner in your marriage. Simultaneously, focus on gradually guiding your husband toward acceptance of being your submissive partner with respect to matters (ideally, all matters) relating to your marital relationship and home life. The idea that you can do this may strike you as implausible and perhaps impossible, if your husband has a strong personality and tends to be dominant in his work and relationships with other men. If, that is, he is an "alpha male," as such men are called. But you will very likely be capable of doing it, I suggest, if you rely on your feminine wiles combined with some psychological insight into the nature of men.

Originally Posted by lexxi

I'm working on it, though.

Good. It sounds like you have the right attitude. Remember, wanting to make your husband your cuckold is the first and most important step toward doing it successfully. Here, Ms. Lexxi, is your first assignment. Read

Real Women Don't Do Housework

all the way through, from start to finish, clicking through the chapters that appear at top left (as I suggested above). After reading these articles, subtly begin implementing Lady Misato's program. Keep in mind this will not involve bluntly telling your husband you want him to agree to you dating and seducing a black man who's been hitting on you at work.

In addition, read

Making Him Mind, The Transition Begins

and consider the possibility of implementing this approach. If — given your knowledge of your husband and the nature of your relationship with him — you don't think this would have a snowball's chance in hell of succeeding, don't worry about it. Read it anyway, and think about it. It will contribute (probably) to your understanding of male psychology.

To gain further insight into techniques and strategies for becoming the dominant partner in your marriage — leading, finally, to acceptance by your husband of it being your privilege and prerogative to date and have sex with whomever you wish, while he remains faithful as your cuckold — I suggest beginning to read this site:

Elise Sutton's Female Superiority Page

(which is extensive). I also suggest ordering and beginning to read one or both of Ms. Elise’s books, which are advertised on her site and available through well-known distributors… Amazon, for instance. If you feel all this is not “who you are” as a woman, and if you even feel somewhat offended by these concepts and ideas, I suggest reading this material anyway and thinking carefully about it. Note, especially, that the concept is “loving female authority,” not “blunt dictatorial female authority.” Having a good grasp of the concepts presented on Ms. Elise’s site and in her books, I suggest, will help you in a broad sense in your relationships with men, including your husband.

Originally Posted by lexxi

I hope to hear more ideas, although I must tailor them to my hubby.

Yes, of course…

Originally Posted by lexxi

I honestly don't think [my husband’s] first reaction would be very favorable.

No, most likely it would not be. Ergo, the time-honored way to make your husband your cuckold is to simply go ahead and start fucking other men while attempting to conceal your sexual adventures. That strategy, unfortunately, also has a high probability of destroying your marriage. The purpose of a strategy along the above lines is to avoid that by gradually bringing your husband to acknowledge it is your privilege and prerogative, as a married woman and as his wife, to do so.

For a recent well-written and basically fascinating study of this subject, I recommend “Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them,” by David J. Ley (2009, 291 pp. [hardcover]). Ley is a clinical psychologist who practices in New Mexico.

When you decide on some initial steps toward guiding your husband to acceptance of his marital role as your submissive partner and your cuckold, you might find it helpful to solicit more comments by writing back with a more detailed description of what he’s like and what you have in mind.

Best regards—

Custer

[MacNfries]

lexxi, I'd be curious to know how you found your way here. What brought you to this website?
What you're experiencing is not unusual for a young, monogomous couple. You're desiring to have an experience outside your marriage; it just as well could be him. Happens all the time. The 2 of you simply didn't have the chance to experience multiple sex partners, and now you're curious as to what it would be like.
As stimulating and exciting as cuckolding may sound, it can be extremely damaging to a relationship. Guys particularly don't handle cheating spouses very well. That is what you are interested in doing ... cheating on your husband with another man, because that is cuckolding? A normal guy isn't going to think too highly of sharing his wife with other men. On top of that, the guy that's turning you on is black ... interesting for sure, as that presents problems all of its own. For one, a black guy is not going to play the silent partner for very long. He'll eventually want control, and encourage you to make discisions you may not want to make. So be careful, should you decide to move forward with a secret rendevous with him.
I think SoonToBe makes a good point; we really need to know more about your husband and you ... your interests, etc. If he gets off on watching gangbang movies or MMFs ... that's good. Possibly you could make positive comments about them should you have the opportunity to watch a few together or share your fantasies together.
You guys seem pretty straight-laced; whatever you do, do it together for a while. My understanding here is YOU put the marriage above all other things. I wouldn't chance destroying the marriage over a curiousity; trust me when I say, it won't be worth it. Keep us posted ... Mac

[UKResearcher]

Lexxi,

You give little indication of how much your husband is a sexual being. For example, to what extent is oral a regular part of your bedtime routine and have you ever noticed if he is more passionate after you have watched something on TV with an erotic theme.

I would suggest that you start off by dangling a neutral toe in the water. One time when you are either building up to sex or just after, say, “I’m worried that we may be starting to drift apart. Sex used to be so wonderful but now it’s not as exciting. I used to always look forward to bed but now I don’t, at least not in the same way.”

Then later, depending on how the prompted conversation goes, say, “I was wondering if perhaps you could get hold of one of those sexy videos, you know, the under the counter type. It might help and we might even learn some new stuff to try.”

This introduces the topic in a non threatening way and if you exaggerate his past sexual ability a little, it certainly won’t do any harm. It's possible that something so small could open the floodgates.

UKresearcher